Look here, young whippersnappers, it is I, Trinkets Friend. You can tell i am a bittervet cause I'm wearing a goshdarn marshall's coat I paid for by embezzling corp slush funds and ripping off nubs and killing them. I am here to complain that the game of EVE Online, and particularly my favorite ship - the Cyclone - is getting the nerfbat in so many ways.

What is this nerf, you ask?

Well, not only are they nerfing neuts, which I regularly fit on my winmatar chariot of awesome, but they are nerfing the Tengu, which nerfs my ability to attack tengus because they will now think my Cyclone is more of a threat to them and primary me, reducing my ability to get in at #65 on a list of 280 parties on a killmail. Outrageous!

Then they are "mixing up"modules and adding new effects! What the crayhole?!? I'm glad that Titan nerfs got wound back a bit by Grayscale, now I won't go AFK on a gate with an Erebus knowing i can shave, shower and shinizzle before it can lock me and pop me! Insanity, I tell you!

Then they made blasters awesome. This means the price of the Freox has gone up, which of course favors the implied value of that researched Ferox BPO I stole from some Quebecois POS in a wormhole, but now everyone's flying blasteroxes its shaken up the status quo! Why, now I might have to train hybrids so i can use a Ferox with Null, or a Naga, i hear they are awesome. Too awesome, by crimminy! We need everything to be forced to use AC's or Arty, just because that's the way its always gone.

And now these micro-jump drives, what is this? I don't know how to fight, I just fly an artybaddon because of alpha, if the FC isn't just calling primary after primary and I mash the broadcast button because i'm worried about my ISK efficiency so badly I'll holler for reps while looting the field mid-battle. I mean, damn guys, the game needs to be wound back to 2008, maybe earlier, when tactics were set in stone and nanophoons went like a shower of crabs. With chilli on them. On your gonads.

Stop this madness! Reply here with your forum alt to support the nerfing of doctrines! Doctrines are vital for braindead bittervets to log on, click "fit all" with a saved Alliance fit, and get shot to pieces by these goshdarn new kids with their newfangled toys.

Huurrrrgh!